One of my goals in talking about my mental health has always been to reduce and ultimately banish the stigma of mental illness — for good and for all. We’ve come a long way in the last 15 years since I was diagnosed with Major Depression, further still since I was diagnosed with anxiety and Panic Disorder. But we still have a long ways to go. One thing I saw someone express recently is that we’re okay when it’s any other body part that breaks down. Break a leg, and everyone rushes in to sign the cast. Have a heart attack, and well-wishers send cards, stuffed animals, and expresses prayers and good thoughts.
But when it comes to any mental illness, people can’t get away fast enough. Mental illness scares them. I’m not sure if it’s because they’re afraid they’ll become tainted by association, because they don’t know what to say, or something else entirely. But the fact remains, when you hit a low with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or any of a dozen other mental illnesses, suddenly there’s no one around.
And here’s the funny thing. The way to interact with someone with a mental illness is exactly the same as it is with any other illness. Here’s a list of things you can do that are helpful:
- Ask “How are you doing?”
- Ask, “How can I help?”
- Send a card expressing your good wishes and prayers so we know we’re being thought of.
- Go ahead and send that stuffie. It’ll give us something to cuddle.
- Stop in for a visit, but call ahead first to make sure it’s okay. Sometimes all we need is to know that people care.
- Give hugs. We love hugs when we’re in the dark.
- Tell us it’s going to be alright. We need that reminder.
- Support us. Cheerlead for us. Be an advocate, and be there for us, because mental illness is painfully lonely.
Ultimately we don’t need or ask for much. In fact, we don’t ask for anything at all because we don’t want to burden those around us. So if you take the time to go out of your way to be there for us, it means more in the world to us than you can possibly imagine. We who suffer are so used to being shunned, to being outcasts, that when someone recognizes us, validates us, refuses to judge us just because we feel bad, that’s a huge thing. It doesn’t take much to reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness. It just takes people who are willing to be there, to be present, and to be courageous enough to face something that is scary for everyone.
