The Brain’s Faulty Circuits

The Brain’s Faulty Circuits

TW: frank discussion of suicidal ideation The last few days, possibly even the last couple of weeks, I’ve struggled with a suicidal ideation right around bedtime. I’ve written previously about the fact that mental unwellness creeps up on me at the end of...
Leftover Grief

Leftover Grief

We would have been married 21 years this year. It’s a number that blows my mind, but it’s also one that makes me sad. It’s been eight years since we separated, seven since the divorce was finalized. And I still feel a bit of grief over what might have been. I don’t...
Psychopharmacology

Psychopharmacology

It’s been a minute since I’ve shared an update on my mental health. I feel like I’ve been chasing the anxiety spectre for a long time, ever since I discovered eight years ago that anxiety was part of my mental health diagnosis. I’ve been...
Seven Hours In An Emergency Room

Seven Hours In An Emergency Room

I stand in the waiting area of a local emergency room, standing because I cannot bear to sit, cannot bear to hold still. I’m on day four of Panic Attack #ItDoesn’tEvenMatter, and I can barely hold myself together. I’m at the emergency room because I...
Beasts versus Monsters

Beasts versus Monsters

I’m tired tonight. Depressed, even. Just as I was yesterday. I feel run low, laid out on the tarmac of life to be run over by monsters of my own devising and picked apart by mythical birds of prey. My flesh feels torn, my heart rent in two, my mind dampened and...