I feel like so much colorful trash today. (Yes, there is such a thing as colorful trash. It’s the same as regular trash, just, y’know, brighter. Don’t ask me how it works. I don’t make the rules.) Between sleeping much less than my usual number of hours the last month and a half and my anxiety threatening to tip me over the edge into panic and my blood pressure being extra high because I haven’t been able to afford basic medications the last two weeks, I just feel all the fucking things, none of them good.
I don’t really expect any of that to change much anytime soon. I’m not sure I have enough money again this week to get my blood pressure medication refilled. I have a sleep study coming up to help determine how badly my CPAP needs replaced and settings adjusted so I sleep better. And the anxiety? Well, that isn’t ever going to go away, is it, considering I’ve had it literally my entire life.
The best I can hope to do is distraction, which lately has been gaming every waking moment I’m not either working or (fitfully) sleeping. If you want to keep up with that, I stream nearly every day on Twitch, or you’re welcome to send me a friend request on Xbox Live (my gamertag is TTL Dem).
Hey, have a great day!
