I sit on a swing at the park, watching my children at play around me. They scurry and run and leap and climb during this first warm day we’ve had in several weeks. They’re loving the warm weather, as am I.
One of their favorite games is hide and seek, which is amusing to watch as there are precious few places for them to hide. Trees are few and far between. The playground equipment offers only so much cover — and neither child is old enough to be patient enough to be quiet in their hiding places as it is. But they don’t care. It’s all about the chase and less about the capture. They love the seeking and finding, and everything else is just frosting on the cake.
Their laughter brings such joy to my heart, as does being able to bring them to the park in the first place. It wasn’t long ago that taking them outside was more than my anxiety could handle, more than my agoraphobia would allow. Now, however, I have the capacity to bring them out, to let them run free, and to enjoy their joy. This is more than I could have done even a few months ago, and so I count it a small victory for me. Every step forward is a win, a little closer to “normal” functionality.
I watch as they use sticks to draw shapes and patterns in the pea gravel, winding paths that lead nowhere, that are too narrow to follow yet are somehow fascinating in their designs, however unintentional. I’m reminded of myself as a child, when I used Matchbox cars to plow roads in dirt and gravel, creating intricate systems of roads and highways for my vehicles to travel on. My kids don’t have the cars to play with this day, but they do have their sticks and for them that is enough.
They laugh and play and run, and this daddy’s heart swells with love, pride, and joy at his creative, carefree children. They are my pride and joy, and I wish it were possible to capture moments like these in a bottle to enjoy forever because I know the time will come when I’ll look back at days like today wistfully. For now, though, I simply enjoy the moment for as long as I can. These are my children, and I love them more than life itself.
