I admit it. I periodically suffer from bouts of despondency. Truth be known, I’m actually very moody and wrestle with depression on a fairly regular basis. (And the fact that my wife can put up with me day after day makes me love her all that much more.)
One thing that consistently plagues me when I hit these low points is to wonder why I bother to write, why I join in on different discussions, both over on my new forum and here on Xanga. I find myself wondering if, in the long-run, it even matters, does it make a difference, is this deep passion of mine to think deeply on the things that seem to matter and then to share that with others just so much wasted effort and energy. I guess I often grow discouraged at the
seeming lack of interest, especially in our generation, in the things that matter most, in learning what it means to live this life in a way that pleases God and draws others to Him. Admittedly, I struggle along from day to day, and more often than not find myself doing exactly the opposite of what I know I should be doing, and yet I feel this deep, burning desire to still try to get it right.
All of what I do here on Xanga and at Open Dialogue is with the intent of getting it right and seeing others get it right, too. I read what some folks write and wonder what it is they live for, what drives them, what motivates them. And for others, it is very clear what it is they live for, and it either causes me to rejoice or to feel great sadness.
I write here to teach myself and to share with others what I am learning, with hopes that we can work on each other to become more like Christ. I love the discussions here and at Open Dialogue and with the people I talk to. But I am also discouraged at how few of us seem to actually have this desire to reflect Christ.
I will continue to try to meet people where they are, to take part in their thoughts and discussions, to help them see Christ just a little better. In the meantime, I will also continue my own journey, writing here and at Open Dialogue, and hope that others find it worth their time to join me.
Why do you write? What do you hope to accomplish? How have you already been changed?