I’m into my second cup of coffee of the day, and I’m starting to feel a little bit freaked out, though not due to the sudden caffeine rush. Ok, it’s kind of due to the caffeine rush, but probably not for the reason you’re thinking of. Sure, if I drink enough coffee, I start to get the jitters, anxiety attacks, heart palpitations, and what-have-you. But, I’m not there yet, not even close.
No, the problem is that I woke up this morning feeling like something someone scraped off the road. I almost never drink coffee — maybe one cup a week at church, mostly because it’s already there and made and ready, all I have to do is serve and go — but this morning I decided to make a pot. What can I say? I needed the jump start. Two cups in now, and I’m actually feeling pretty good. What’s more, I’m actually feeling more motivated and creative and eager to dig into the day than I would on a normal day sans coffee. Which is where the freak-out comes in. I suddenly have a much clearer idea of why so many people make coffee such an integral part of their daily routines. It scares the living bejuju* outta me just a little. (*I know, I know. I’m just not a huge fan of the other form of that word. Besides, this one’s funnier in my head. Don’t judge me. Hey! I can see you judging me!)
I’ve made it a point of pride over the years to avoid developing a coffee/caffeine addiction. I’ve watched far too many people trying to wean themselves off caffeine for it to be an alluring habit to me. It helps, I suppose, that coffee isn’t exactly one of my favorite beverages. (Most coffees are really bitter to me, so I end up doctoring them with enough cream and sugar that the final result looks less like coffee and more like a hot, creamy drink that just happens to have coffee flavoring.) It just bugs me somewhat that, for today at least, coffee has made me feel better than normal. It almost — almost — makes me want to start drinking it on a daily basis, just for that little boost to get started. But then again, there’s that problem of addiction and diminishing returns and the sudden but inevitable crash at the other end.
Y’know what? On second thought — no, thanks. I’m good.