It’s 4:30am and I’m wide awake already. It appears it’s going to be yet another short night, which means I’m going to be running my day on a sleep deficit. This is nothing new. I’ve been living my life like this for months now. It just means I’m going to have to be watchful for spikes in my anxiety, careful to manage my stress levels today as best I can, and take self-care time as needed. (Can self-care be compressed into a capsule somehow and taken like another medication? That sure would save me a lot of time and trouble.) 

My neighbors above me appear to be similarly awake. I can hear them walking around in their bedroom, taking turns making trips to their bathroom. The walls of my apartment are thin enough that I can hear the rush of water through the pipes every time they flush their toilet, which is how I know the ‘why’ of their wakefulness at this early hour. 

I can already tell I’m not going back to sleep. My brain is awake and in supercharged mode. Again this is nothing new. There’s a reason why I don’t sleep much these days. But it’s too early to really get up and get moving, so I tell Alexa to quietly play me some easy-listening music. I’m still not sure if I have a neighbor on the other side of my bedroom wall anymore. I’m pretty sure I don’t. Ever since the great false alarm earlier in the summer that set off certain sprinklers, there has been a steady stream of workers going in and out of that apartment — making repairs, repainting, and so on. I still marvel that my apartment was somehow missed in that debacle when the neighbors on either side of me got hit with water damage. I’m content to call it God’s protection and leave it at that. 

I grab my tablet and check in on the three games I play. There’s not much to do with Forge of Empires just now except collect a few productions that have been brewing for the last four hours. Rival Golf similarly has little to catch up. One of the timed chests is ready to open and collect its prizes, which I do. I also play a couple of quick games to net a handful of wins to restock the empty chest slot in my inventory and to ensure I maintain my slot at the top of the leaderboard. I check the time remaining until the boards reset and see that there’s now less than a day remaining and I’m still several hundred points ahead of the next closest player. I’m content with that. No need to push, then. 

I feel the call of nature myself now, so I push myself out of bed to answer that call, then snag my phone and tablet on my way to the living room. I’m fully awake now, so I tell Alexa to stop playing in my room on my way through the door. I grab my Beats headphones and transfer my music to my phone and settle in on the couch. I launch Homescapes, the third of my games and play it for a bit.

I glance at the clock and realize that I’ve already passed nearly an hour already. Church is still a few hours away, though, so I have time for a languorous morning. I’ll eat breakfast closer to time to leave, and I need to shower yet, which I’ll do before I eat. For now I’m just going to enjoy the stillness of the early morning. Sundays are good for that because not even the streets are showing signs of activity yet. There’s a lot of day ahead. I intend to enjoy this time while it lasts.

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