A friend of mine asks: Ã¢â‚¬Å“have u truely forgiven someone if you still
cannot trust them?Ã¢â‚¬Â
Good question: what say ye? “#”:http://theconnexion.net/wp/?p=1910
Forgiveness does not necessarily beget trust. Forgiveness simply means that I will not hold past wrongs against the offender. It does not necessarily mean I trust him to not make the same mistake again, particularly if that individual has a history of repeating the same mistake.
A friend of mine does something that is harmful to me in some way. Say, for instance, he borrows my car and wrecks it. He asks my forgiveness, and I grant it. Fellowship is restored, and we continue to be friends. To my knowledge he has no past history of wrecking vehicles, so I’m willing to give him another chance. He borrows my car again, and again he wrecks it, begging forgiveness, which I grant. He is my friend, and I wish to keep him as a my friend. However, he is beginning to develop a pattern of carelessness, and so I may be less willing to allow him to borrow my vehicle again. It does not mean I have not forgiven him, just that he now has a history of not being responsible.
It is possible to forgive yet not fully trust. It is simply recognizing that consequences follow actions. One mistake is simply that – a mistake. More than begins to be a pattern, something that must be acknowledged in your dealings with that individual. I may not trust this individual to drive my car again, at least not without appropriate supervision, but I can forgive him by not throwing it in his face or harboring any ill will against him. We can still have good fellowship. And when he demonstrates that he is again trustworthy, he can drive my car again.